Sarah, a 38-year-old Ontario native, recently went viral on TikTok for explaining the concept of “ugly privilege.” She clarifies that ugly privilege doesn’t necessarily mean she views herself as ugly, but rather that men generally do not find her attractive and leave her alone as a result. Sarah points out that she rarely receives male attention in real life, which makes her uncomfortable when it does happen. She sees this lack of attention as a privilege because she doesn’t have to deal with unwanted advances from men.
Sarah’s TikTok on ugly privilege has garnered over 3,500 comments from women who share similar experiences. Many women express relief at not being perceived by men and the freedom that comes with not being constantly approached or harassed. Sarah mentions that she realized the peace of mind that comes with being left alone by men as she got older. She believes that too many men do not understand boundaries and consent, and not having to deal with those men is a privilege.
It is important to not minimize the experiences of other women who may have different interactions with men. Sarah emphasizes the need to believe and trust women’s stories, whether they have ugly privilege or not. She also highlights in a separate video that having ugly privilege does not make someone immune from the dangers of sexual harassment and violence. Women must remain vigilant and not grow too comfortable feeling invisible to potential threats.
While women who perceive themselves as having ugly privilege may benefit from being left alone by men, it is crucial to acknowledge the diverse experiences that women have with the male gaze. Sarah believes that society has taken a wrong turn with the behavior of many men towards women and the lack of boundaries and respect. It is necessary to understand and respect the different experiences that women have with men, regardless of whether they receive attention or not.
Sarah’s experience with ugly privilege is not unique, as many women resonate with feeling relieved at not being constantly approached by men. Some women find that being left alone allows them to do more in life and feel safer in public spaces. While not receiving male attention may come with privileges, it is essential to consider the complexities of women’s interactions with men and to believe and support women in their experiences. Ultimately, women should be trusted and believed when they share their stories, whether they have ugly privilege or not.
