High standards in the workplace often lead to unrealistic expectations, causing stress and hindering personal growth. Unrealistic expectations can range from body image to work to relationships, setting unattainable standards and demanding instant success or constant validation. Clinical psychologist Miranda Morris notes that having unrealistic expectations is a normal part of the human experience, but holding onto them may not be beneficial in the long run. These expectations can interfere with pursuing what truly matters, such as taking risks that could help you grow in your career.
The reasons behind unrealistic expectations are often rooted in social pressures, comparison, or idealized notions of success. These expectations can promise instant gratification or perfection, making them difficult to let go of. While some may believe these unachievable goals will motivate and inspire action, they can actually have significant impacts on well-being, leading to burnout, emotional distress, fear of failure, low self-esteem, and relationship strain. Clinical psychologist Selena C. Snow emphasizes that unrealistic expectations set individuals and others up for failure, causing difficult emotions and unhelpful behaviors.
Understanding how motivation shapes expectations is crucial in overcoming unrealistic expectations. Intrinsic motivation, which comes from within, and extrinsic motivation, which comes from external factors, play a role in determining how individuals set and pursue goals. Various motivational theories, such as drive motivation theory and humanistic motivation theory, explain behaviors rooted in biological or psychological needs. Researchers have also found that environment, past experiences, and physiological state influence motivation, with the amygdala playing a significant role in processing fear, emotions, and motivation. Overcoming unrealistic expectations requires identifying and challenging them through techniques like self-reflection and awareness, progress-oriented mindset, and compassion and acceptance.
Recognizing and addressing unrealistic expectations is essential for maintaining mental well-being and personal growth. By reflecting on the origins of expectations and evaluating if they are beneficial or hindering progress, individuals can start to release resistance and self-doubt. Cultivating a progress-over-perfection mindset encourages growth and resilience, allowing for mistakes and setbacks as part of the journey. Practicing self-compassion and accepting imperfections can alleviate the pressures of unrealistic expectations, allowing individuals to be kinder to themselves. Ultimately, avoiding holding oneself to unrealistic standards, and instead showing the same level of understanding and compassion as one would to others, can help in overcoming unrealistic expectations and achieving success.
