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The author shares a personal account of becoming a caregiver for her dying father and later for her mother who suffered from vascular dementia. The challenges of long-distance caregiving, financial strain, and emotional toll are detailed as the author navigates through the difficult process of caring for her aging parents. The author also reflects on her fear of not having anyone to care for her in her old age, given that she does not have children of her own. This leads her to contemplate her own end-of-life decisions and how she can ensure a dignified and pain-free death when the time comes.

As the author grapples with the realities of caregiving and the uncertainties surrounding aging and end-of-life care, she considers various options and reflects on her favorite movie, “Harold and Maude,” where the character Maude chooses to end her life on her own terms. The author explores the idea of planning her own death and begins to research assisted death options available in other countries, such as Switzerland. Learning about organizations like Dignitas and Exit International gives her a sense of peace and comfort, knowing that there are alternatives to prolonged suffering in old age.

The author contemplates the possibility of traveling to Switzerland to access assisted death services when the time comes. She advocates for more options for end-of-life care in the United States, similar to those available in Switzerland, to allow individuals to make their own choices about how and when to end their lives. The author believes in the importance of personal autonomy and the right to self-determination when facing end-of-life decisions, comparing it to the personal choice of abortion.

Despite her husband’s reluctance to embrace the idea of assisted death at this time, the author feels reassured knowing she has options for a self-determined expiration date in the future. She acknowledges that circumstances may change and that she may reconsider her choices, but the knowledge that she can choose to end her life in a dignified and pain-free manner brings her a sense of comfort and control over her future. The author believes that with proper regulation and documentation, the U.S. can establish similar end-of-life options to those available in Switzerland.

In conclusion, the author shares her hope for a future where individuals have access to affordable and humane end-of-life options in the United States. She advocates for personal choice and autonomy in end-of-life decisions, highlighting the importance of having the ability to control one’s own destiny when faced with aging and illness. The author’s journey of caregiving, contemplation, and advocacy serves as a poignant reflection on the complexities of aging, dying, and the need for compassionate end-of-life care options.

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