A Reddit user known as Tequilaandmayo shared her experience of being given a “curfew” by her college roommate on the AITA subreddit. The user explained that her roommate had earlier agreed that she could turn out the light at any point, and Tequilaandmayo would be quiet after that. Despite trying to be respectful of her roommate’s early sleep schedule, there were nights where she stayed out late. After returning home at 8:15 a.m. following a night out with friends, her roommate expressed frustration with her behavior and scheduled a meeting with their resident assistant to mediate the situation.
A marriage and family therapist named Rachel Goldberg weighed in on the situation and suggested that Tequilaandmayo’s roommate was in the wrong for trying to exert control over her behavior. Goldberg recommended that Tequilaandmayo communicate to her roommate that she will continue to be extremely quiet to respect her roommate’s need for sleep, but will not sacrifice her freedom to choose when she stays out late. Additionally, Goldberg pointed out that the roommate may have feelings of envy or FOMO towards Tequilaandmayo, which could be influencing her behavior.
Many Reddit users agreed with Goldberg’s assessment and expressed support for Tequilaandmayo, indicating that she was not in the wrong in this situation. The top upvoted reply from a user named Peony-Pony emphasized that Tequilaandmayo was free to come and go as she pleased, and her roommate’s attempts to control her behavior were unrealistic and entitled. Others highlighted how the resident assistant might find humor in the situation and reiterated that the roommate should not dictate when Tequilaandmayo can come home, as she is an adult with the right to make her own choices.
The consensus among Reddit users was that Tequilaandmayo was not the one at fault in this situation, with nearly all participants in the discussion indicating that she was “NTA” (“Not the A–hole”). Participants appreciated Tequilaandmayo’s efforts to be respectful of her roommate’s needs while also asserting her independence as an adult. The situation highlighted the challenges that can arise in roommate dynamics, especially when individuals have differing lifestyles and expectations. Ultimately, the advice provided by the marriage and family therapist suggested that open communication and setting boundaries would be key in resolving the conflict between Tequilaandmayo and her roommate.
