A Reddit user, “taenuts,” shared a post on the “Am I the A–hole” advice forum recounting how his two older sisters suggested splitting the cost of a family lunch outing with their mother three ways, which included splitting the expenses evenly. The man expressed his discomfort with the idea due to his sisters’ previous outings where the kids were not considered in the bill but still ate. When he voiced his concerns, his sisters accused him of being confrontational, and his mom took their side. This led him to seek advice on the forum about wanting the bill to be split differently, as he doesn’t have kids and only wanted to pay for his share and his mother’s.
In response, etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore suggested that adult siblings often split the cost of a meal for a parent on special occasions, such as Mother’s Day, like the situation described by the Reddit user. Whitmore recommended considering who ordered what when splitting the bill, suggesting that siblings cover the cost of their own families. She also mentioned the possibility of covering the bill for his mother and his share, while the siblings cover the cost of their children’s meals. Ultimately, Whitmore emphasized that the man is not obligated to join an outing that doesn’t work for him and that covering his mother’s meal should be sufficient to keep peace.
Some Reddit users advised the man to consider dining without his sisters in the future to avoid further uncomfortable situations. One commenter suggested a more direct approach, paying only for what he ordered plus a portion of his mother’s meal and leaving. Whitmore also recommended discussing the bill in advance to find a suitable solution, such as each person covering their own family’s meal and chipping in for the mother’s meal. If this proposal isn’t accepted, taking his mother out alone could be a way to avoid any awkward confrontations.
Overall, the situation highlights the importance of clear communication and setting boundaries when it comes to splitting bills and shared expenses among family members. While it’s common for adult siblings to share the cost of a meal for a parent on special occasions, it’s essential to consider individual circumstances and ensure that everyone feels comfortable and respected. By discussing expectations and finding a fair solution in advance, potential conflicts and misunderstandings can be avoided, allowing for a more harmonious and enjoyable family gathering.
