Family secrets are a common occurrence within households, often kept hidden out of fear, shame, self-protection, or love. In 1985, the author’s father, a surgeon, was diagnosed with HIV after receiving contaminated blood during surgery. At the time, an HIV diagnosis was seen as a death sentence due to the lack of understanding and misinformation surrounding the disease. The societal stigma and fear surrounding HIV/AIDS made it difficult for those infected to receive support and understanding, especially within conservative religious communities.
The evangelical Christian right fueled the stigma around AIDS in the 1980s, with prominent figures suggesting it was a punishment from God for sinful behavior. The author’s father, a devout Christian, struggled with his diagnosis and the conflicting beliefs of his faith community. He chose to keep his illness a secret to protect his family from discrimination and ostracism. Despite being an accomplished physician, he felt disempowered by the lack of knowledge and treatment options available for HIV/AIDS at the time.
The author’s family coped with the secret of her father’s HIV diagnosis by maintaining a facade of normalcy, even as they grappled with the emotional turmoil and isolation caused by the disease. Two years before his death, the author’s father began writing a book with her mother, aiming to share their experience living with HIV/AIDS in hopes of dispelling myths and changing attitudes within their community. The publication of the book allowed the family to break free from the secrecy and receive support from friends and strangers.
The author struggled with the silence and shame surrounding her father’s illness for decades until she sought therapy and began writing about her experiences. Through this process, she was able to confront and process the emotions that had been stored inside her for years. The author’s family members found their own paths to healing and understanding, with two brothers becoming physicians and her mother working as a family therapist. The author now shares her story publicly, hoping to connect with others who may be carrying their own unspoken burdens.
The author’s journey towards healing and finding meaning in her family’s experience is expressed through writing. By sharing her story, she aims to help others put down their own unspoken burdens and begin their own paths towards healing and understanding. Through her work and public speaking engagements, the author hopes to create connections with individuals who may be struggling with similar experiences, offering them a sense of solidarity and understanding in their journey towards healing.
