Catherine Hiller, a writer on pleasure, decided to attend a cuddle party in New York City despite not being able to find anyone to go with her. Although her husband and friends found the idea weird, she purchased a ticket and prepared to experience a night of consensual, non-sexual touch with strangers in a loft in NYC. The event was strictly non-sexual, drug and alcohol-free, and focused on creating connections through touch in a safe and respectful environment. Hiller was excited to explore the idea of cuddling with strangers, expanding her usual boundaries of physical intimacy with friends and family.
Upon arriving at the cuddle party, Hiller found a racially diverse crowd of participants of various ages, and the facilitator of the event, who was around her age, helped ease her nerves about the experience. The event began with a workshop on consent, where participants practiced asking for and denying touch in order to establish comfort with setting and respecting boundaries. While initially skeptical of the exercise, Hiller came to realize the importance of being able to communicate clearly and frank along with the realizing that it could extend beyond the realm of cuddling with strangers. The atmosphere was warm and welcoming, with a focus on creating a safe and respectful space for all attendees.
As the evening progressed, Hiller found herself feeling like a wallflower as she observed many participants opting to engage in awkward chats rather than cuddling. Feeling slightly disappointed in the lack of physical intimacy, she found herself holding conversations with another first-timer, a German woman, who was open about her desire for genuine connection despite attending a cuddle party to seek touch. While some participants engaged in cuddling, Hiller found herself on the sidelines, unable to find someone she felt comfortable embracing. Her grand visions of a sensual paradise with playful and open-minded people quickly faded as she struggled to connect with others at the event.
Ultimately, Hiller decided to leave the party early, feeling more eager to return to her husband, Mark, who provided familiar and comforting affection. Reflecting on her experience, she considered the blow to her vanity and how she was already starting to recover from the disappointments of the cuddle party. Despite not catching Covid from the event, Hiller noted that the only thing she had caught was a realization that perhaps the idea of cuddling with strangers was not as fulfilling as she had initially anticipated. As someone who enjoys exploring pleasure in different forms, the cuddle party experience was a reminder of the importance of genuine and meaningful connections in intimate interactions.
