First dates often involve inappropriate questions, with many people losing their tact in a quest to find the perfect match. Money-related questions, in particular, can make people uncomfortable, although finances are an important aspect of compatibility. Nashville-based dating coach Kelsey Wonderlin says that most singles are interested in the salary of their date if they are looking for a long-term partnership. Some singles have the skills to subtly ask about money, while others might outright ask about your salary. If faced with this question and feeling uncomfortable, there are ways to respond, according to dating experts.
Rachel DeAlto, a dating expert at the app Plenty of Fish, emphasizes that first date etiquette deems questions about finances unacceptable. However, it’s also important to acknowledge that money does matter in a relationship. Lifestyle mismatches, such as differing spending habits, can be a topic worth discussing. If you’re not comfortable revealing your salary, it’s okay to give a vague answer, especially in the early stages of dating. DeAlto suggests responding with a general statement like “I make a living wage” or “My salary is pretty average, but I’m hoping to increase my pay within the next year.”
According to DeAlto, it’s not necessary to delve into money conversations if you’re just casually dating. However, there is a way to respond without feeling pressured to reveal a specific amount. You can also follow up with your own questions to learn more about your date’s motivations behind asking about income. Wonderlin also suggests turning the question around to learn something about your date, saying, “That’s not something I’m comfortable sharing at this moment with you, but I’m curious why it feels so important to you to discuss now.” Ultimately, if you are comfortable revealing your salary and the question doesn’t bother you, it could be a sign that you’re on a date with someone who is a good fit for you.
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