In a letter to Dear Abby, the writer expresses discomfort with being touched, stemming from childhood experiences where they were forced to hug and kiss relatives. Despite telling people they no longer want to be touched, their parents continue to ignore their boundaries, hugging them even more often and laughing at their discomfort. The writer is at a loss for how to get their parents to respect their boundaries without starting a feud.
Dear Abby advises the writer to explain to their parents the lasting impact their actions have had, and that no one has the right to touch them if they do not want to be touched. She suggests seeing them less often if they continue to ignore the writer’s protests, recognizing their behavior as a form of mild sadism. Setting clear boundaries and communicating openly with the parents may help them understand the writer’s perspective.
In another letter, a person in their 30s expresses feelings of being neglected by their father who recently remarried. Despite having no negative feelings towards the new wife or their marriage, the writer feels hurt by their father forgetting their birthday and speaking to them less often. They struggle with feeling like they are no longer a priority in their father’s life and wonder if they are now too old for special father/daughter moments.
Dear Abby reassures the writer that no one is too old for father/daughter or father/son moments and suggests expressing their feelings to their father. She advises the writer to communicate their desire to spend time with him and the grandchildren, while also being patient and understanding of his possible distraction during the honeymoon phase of his new marriage. Open communication and setting expectations may help rebuild the relationship.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and offers advice on a variety of topics. Readers can submit their questions to Dear Abby through the website or mail. The column was founded by Abigail’s mother, Pauline Phillips, and continues to provide guidance and support for readers facing a variety of issues in their personal lives.
