Polyamory has gained increasing attention in recent times, with headlines focusing on its dos and don’ts, practical guides, and firsthand accounts of relationships. While polyamory has been around for decades, it has become more mainstream recently. Despite the misconception that polyamory is all about sex, many polyamorous relationships are actually non-sexual. However, sexual fantasies about opening up monogamous relationships are more common than people may think, with almost one-third of individuals in monogamous relationships fantasizing about it.
The writer shares that as they navigate life in their forties during a pandemic, parenting a young child, and facing various challenges, their sexual desire has diminished. They question if they are alone in their desire for less desire amidst the chaos of daily life. Gen Z is reported to be less sexually active than older generations, with factors such as increased comfort with asexuality, reluctance to engage in impersonal or rough sex, and excessive screen time playing a role in this trend. The decrease in sexual activity could also be attributed to a better understanding and implementation of consent in intimate relationships.
Hormones play a significant role in shaping an individual’s sex drive, with research suggesting that both men and women typically start to experience a decline in libido around the age of 42. Hormonal changes during menopause, postpartum, and the use of certain medications like birth control pills and antidepressants can impact libido differently for everyone. While some individuals may experience a decline in desire, particularly due to factors like dryness and pelvic floor issues, others may feel a surge in sexual freedom post-menopause. The impact of reproductive rights issues, stress from news and social media, and conflicts within relationships can also influence one’s sexual appetite.
The fear and anxiety stemming from current events and the state of the world can have a negative impact on one’s sex life. Stress from news, political situations, and social media can decrease sexual desire, as can conflicts within relationships over differing opinions on these issues. Relationship dynamics, including communication around childcare, finances, and household chores, can also affect sexual satisfaction. Resentment, lack of emotional connection, and feeling uncared for by a partner can decrease desire for partnered sex. Desire discrepancy between partners is a common reason for seeking sex therapy, with some couples exploring masturbating, opening up their relationship, or starting sex to boost desire levels.
In conclusion, the exploration of polyamory and the varied factors influencing sexual desire highlight the complexities of intimate relationships in today’s world. While some individuals may embrace polyamory as a way to navigate changing desires and relationship dynamics, others may find themselves grappling with a decline in desire due to hormonal changes, stress, conflicts, and societal factors. Ultimately, open communication, mutual understanding, and a willingness to adapt to evolving needs and desires are crucial in fostering healthy and fulfilling relationships, whether monogamous or polyamorous.
