Parental anxiety is on the rise, leading to what some are calling “next-level helicopter parents” for college students. Jonathan Alpert, a psychotherapist, noted that parents are more anxious and intrusive than ever, with some even tracking their kids via apps and attempting to connect with their professors. This behavior can potentially harm college students in the long run. An example of extreme parental behavior was provided by a first-year student at Yale who described how her parents constantly tracked her and even set a bedtime for her. This kind of overbearing behavior can lead to anxiety and depression in students.
Some parents resort to extreme measures out of fear and a sense of loss as their child goes off to college. Using apps to track their children gives parents a sense of control and reassurance, reducing their anxiety. However, this behavior can limit the growth and independence of college-aged children. Dr. Jennifer L. Hartstein explained that during the adjustment period at the start of college, it is normal for students to experience anxiety and difficulty settling in. However, parents who swoop in to fix every problem prevent their children from developing resilience and independence.
Helicopter parenting can prevent young adults from learning how to be independent functioning adults. Dr. Gail Saltz pointed out that parents who engage in this behavior often see their child’s success as a reflection of their vigilant parenting. They have been smoothing the way for their children for years, avoiding mistakes and failures. However, this approach does not set children up for success in adulthood. Independent, functioning adults are those who are confident in their ability to manage life and learn from their mistakes.
Parents sending their children off to college need to understand that it is a sign of success in parenting. Trust that you have taught your child well and that they will be able to handle the challenges ahead. It is essential for parents to work on their own mental state and seek support from other parents going through a similar transition. An anxious parent can inadvertently put pressure on their child to quell their anxiety, leading to difficulties in assimilating into college life. Instead, parents should focus on reframing the college transition as a sign of progress and accomplishment.
In conclusion, rising parental anxiety is leading to an increase in overbearing “helicopter parents” for college students. This behavior, although well-intentioned, can harm students in the long run by limiting their independence and resilience. Parents need to strike a balance between being supportive and allowing their children to grow as independent adults. Seeking support from other parents and reframing the college transition as a positive milestone can help anxious parents cope with the change. Ultimately, fostering independence and confidence in young adults is crucial for their success in college and beyond.
