When your partner is having a bad day, it is important to be mindful of the things you say in order to avoid making the situation worse. Different people have different preferences when it comes to receiving support, so it is important to consider your partner’s unique needs and experiences. Instead of offering solutions or minimizing their feelings, it is best to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Avoid phrases like “It could be worse,” “Here’s what you should do,” or “It’s not that big of a deal,” as these comments can make your partner feel invalidated and alone in their struggles.
Men, in particular, may gravitate towards a “fix-it response” when their partner is upset, as they may find it easier to give advice on how to resolve the issue rather than delve into their partner’s emotions. This approach can make your partner feel like their feelings are not being heard or understood, leading to emotional distance in the relationship. Similarly, comments that begin with “at least” or “just calm down” can be dismissive and counterproductive in providing comfort and support to your partner in distress. It is crucial to listen to their concerns in the moment and offer validation of their emotions.
Bringing the focus of the conversation back to yourself, rather than allowing your partner to express themselves, can also be detrimental to their emotional well-being. It is essential to provide a safe and supportive space for your partner to vent and share their feelings without judgment. By focusing on listening and validating their emotions, you can strengthen the emotional connection in the relationship and foster a sense of trust and respect. Phrases like “I’m here for you” and “That sounds really hard” can be more beneficial in showing your support and understanding.
In times of distress, it is important to refrain from rushing to offer solutions or downplaying your partner’s feelings. Instead, take the time to listen and empathize with their experiences. By practicing the platinum rule of treating others how they want to be treated, you can show your partner that you are there for them and willing to support them through their tough times. By creating a safe and understanding environment, you can help your partner feel heard and validated as they navigate their emotions and work towards finding solutions.
