Research conducted by UCLA psychologists suggests that venting about frustrations with one friend to another can be an effective form of competition that strengthens bonds between friends. While venting may not necessarily decrease anger or provide cathartic relief, it can make the listener feel closer to the venting individual and like the target less. The benefits of venting lie in the enhanced feeling of support from friends and the potential improvement in health and happiness from being well-liked.
The study challenges the traditional Freudian catharsis explanation for venting by proposing an alliance view that suggests venting can be a strategic tool to garner support from friends. As friendship plays a significant role, especially in younger individuals who may be experiencing loneliness, it is crucial to understand how people compete to be liked by their friends. The research reveals that people may compete for friends’ support and affection, similar to how they compete for romantic partners.
Participants in the study were asked to listen to vents, gossip, or derogation about a mutual friend and then rate their feelings about the speaker and target. Results showed that venting about a mutual friend canceling plans made the speaker more likable than the target. However, venting backfired when the speaker was perceived as rivalrous with the targeted friend, demonstrating the importance of intent in venting.
The benefits of being relatively better liked by friends include being given preferential treatment and other positive outcomes. While competition for friendships can be strategic, it does not necessarily have to be conscious. Some scholars suggest that such tactics may work best when individuals are unaware of the competition, as this can decrease the perceived aggressive intent behind the venting.
The researchers highlight the ways in which venting can fail, such as being perceived as aggressive or choosing the wrong topic or person to vent to. However, the fact that venting can be effective at all indicates that people can be strategic about what they vent about and to whom. In a society where loneliness is prevalent, understanding the dynamics of friendship and competition for affection is essential for overall well-being.
Ultimately, the research suggests that while venting may not always provide immediate relief, it can serve as a tool for competition and strengthening bonds with friends. By recognizing the potential benefits and pitfalls of venting, individuals can navigate their social relationships more effectively and foster deeper connections with others.